Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
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you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
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I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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