This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
