But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
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