So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
