Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
