so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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