Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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