singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
