If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
