Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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