Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
