Your tits are I can't wait for
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
