this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
