i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
