Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
