that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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