Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
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Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
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ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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