is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
