Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
