that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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