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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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