I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
