You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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