Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
