We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize