as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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