i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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