marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
