I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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