We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
