He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
