I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
