Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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