You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.