Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018