Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
