he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked