Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she peed on how many people?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter