she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.