The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Pappa wants mamma naked
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
