Sry I called you an 8
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
