k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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