I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
