The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
