omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize