I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
