I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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