would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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