We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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