My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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