K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
