i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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