I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
