we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Randomize
