her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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