tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
