Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
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Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
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i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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