butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
