Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
