So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
