i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
