That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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