I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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