You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
