Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
